Sunday, April 24, 2016

Adoration Chapel

Hello my Jesus, present in the Blessed Sacrament of the Altar. It is so very good to be here with You today. I love You, my Savior, my friend. Thank You, Lord for the many graces this week. I praise You, Lord God! You are the Almighty, Creator, Our Father; the only one true God. Praise You and thank You, for creating all that is; out of nothing. Praise You for life! Praise You for my family and friends. Thank You for the signal graces of the week and for the blessed encouragement from my dear friends, my sisters in Christ who have texted messages of encouragement, and who have prayed for (name withheld). Jesus, thank You for the friends who grace my life in countless ways. They walk with me through the desert and give me cool sips of water when I feel parched. They give me their sweet smiles from their hearts of love and this gives me more courage to continue on the journey. Their love and prayers lift the heavy crosses in my life just enough to allow me to breathe. I know, Lord that Your love is being manifested through them and that You directed our paths of friendship to cross so that we can walk arm and arm as comrades, for You do not Will that we go through life alone.

Lord, I am also grateful for the many people who know and love (name withheld). It is a wonderful experience seeing and hearing from people, some I know, but others I do not know, but who love (name withheld). Your kindness and generosity surpasses all, Lord God. Thank You for the knowing gazes from (name withheld) and for the occasional wide smile he gives judiciously, so that we know it was purposeful and intended. Thank You for the small, but landmark signs of improvement we are seeing.

Oh, my Lord and my God, who am I that You listen to my prayers through teary eyes and with the quiet pleading that has consumed my thoughts 24 hours a day, seven days a week. I truly have become a beggar which does not speak well of my trust in You. Please forgive me when I stand before You in my filthy rags and my sobbing heart, when You long for me to smile and trust in You. I am trying, Jesus and You are so patient and kind. Lord, sometimes, I feel as though I have stepped off a cliff, but have caught hold of some branches on the way down and am scraping the sides of the mountain with one hand, clawing for something to hold onto while my other hand clings to a broken limb about to break only to continue my plunge toward the ground. Why, oh Lord do I feel this way when in reality my feet are firmly planted on Your shoulders—You my rock, my solid ground? Why, Jesus am I so lacking in trust. This is not the person I want to be. I wanted to be one who smiles in the face of adversity. Not a mocking, sardonic smile but a loving, grace filled smile that comes from the heart of one who knows her Jesus, the One with the perfect, divine, adorable Will, has everything under control. I want to be the one who encourages others, and who brings a peaceful, steady calm to all in my midst. I want this Lord so that others will receive what You so generously lavish upon those who love You and yet, that is not what I have been. Please forgive me, Jesus. You deserve to have better friends than this and I am sorry. Please give me whatever it is I need, whatever You know I need, and not what I think I need. I do not know what is best for me, Jesus but You do. Lord, help me to be a better servant and friend of Yours so that Your love will flow freely from Your Sacred Heart, through my small, cracked heart and out to those I encounter, if it is Your precious Will. I love You and I long to love You more—and better. Help me, Jesus. Lord, I trust in You. Help me to trust You more. Thank You for the joy of holy Mass this morning. Thank You for lifting, even partially, the gray clouds that have been surrounding my heart, my soul and my mind for the past few months.

Today, I think I actually really saw the sunshine and felt its warmth for the first time in weeks. Though it was there previously, I was somehow kept from it, and You know how very much I love sunshine, Jesus for You made the sun to remind us and teach us about You. The sun gives life. Without it we would die. Nothing that grows could do so without the life giving rays of the sun. You are the sun in my life, Jesus and the beautiful sunshine gently reminds me of the love of my Savior. Lately, I have been walking around as if in the dark, muddling my way through, but today, You put sunglasses on my eyes and lifted the shroud covering me and allowed me out of this prison to feel and see the sun. Thank You for Your gentle kindness, Lord and for Your thoughtfulness. It amazes me when I think about how much You genuinely care for each one of Your children and after all—You are the God of the universe, and we must be like specks of dust on the earth and yet You care lovingly for each one of us. Thank You for Your love and mercy. Praise be Jesus, now and FOREVER!!!

“You are welcome, My little lamb. You are most welcome. When you prayed the prayer of trust yesterday and gave your intention to Me; gave it fully with no reservations, you surrendered your will to Me and to My Father. In this way, you became free from the anxiety and concern of the past several weeks. You were released from your will which binds My power and obstructs the many graces I wish to shower upon you. My child, My little one, you have been alert to the graces of the week. I see that you have noticed even the small ones and in some ways these may be the most beautiful to You, are they not?”

Yes, Lord. The small graces that are small in size but not in intensity are the ones I will hold in my heart for a long time to come. Thank You, Jesus!

“You are most welcome and yet you did the work in prayer to surrender your will and in this way graces I was longing to give you became available to you. Continue this surrendering, my daughter. When one comes to know and understand My love, one is more capable of comprehending the situations that surround you and in turn able to abandon oneself to My Will. Trust is crucial to this process. You are coming to know this in a deeper way, My child.”

Thank You, Jesus. I trust You with (name withheld) life and his health. Lord, thank You for this time with (name withheld) . It has been very special indeed!

“You are welcome, My daughter.”

Lord, please be with (name withheld) today. Give her peace to love that will carry her through. Comfort (name withheld). Be with all those who care for him, and with the doctors as they try to decide what is best for his treatments. Holy Spirit give them knowledge and discernment. Enlighten their minds, holy angels to see what is going on inside (name withheld) body and deep within his bone marrow and each cell in his body. Thank You for Your care, Jesus the great Physician and Healer. I love You!

“And I love you My little one. Continue to trust in My perfect Will. All will be well.”

Thank You, my Jesus. Thank You, St. Padre Pio for being my spiritual papa and for being with me. Please stay with me and guide me so that I will be a good daughter of God.

Jesus, my Good Shepherd, protector of the weakest of souls, is there anything You wish to tell me? What can I do for You, Jesus?

“Walk with Me, child. Walk with Me as I carry My cross on My bruised and beaten shoulders through the crowded streets where I am taunted, spat upon and despised by all. I see you in the crowds, My little one. What do you say to Me, My friend?”

Jesus, Savior of the world, Savior of mine, I say nothing for there are no words to express my sadness at seeing the One who loves us into existence being mocked, tortured, persecuted. The travesty is too much to bear and yet I will myself to keep watch, hoping for even one glance at me. I hope against all hope that once, just once our eyes will meet so that I can give you as much love in one glace as is humanly possible. I will keep walking, continuing to weave in and out of the crowds in order to keep You in sight. I long to get close enough, Jesus to wipe Your bloody brow. To press a cool, wet cloth to Your parched eyes and swollen lips. I long to show some act of kindness to You, but Jesus, You are in such agony, I fear that even if You look my way, You could not see me. There is so much pain, so much unbearable pain. I see Your halting steps that bear too much weight for Your bruised, beaten and now weak body. You have lost so much blood, so much water, that You can’t possibly climb the hill that looms before You. It is humanly impossible, Jesus and yet You are God. You Will yourself to continue to save us blind, disobedient, foul sheep. Yet, we are the sheep You love and have come to redeem, and so You continue, one painful, bloody step at a time.

Jesus, I see You fall and I can’t bear to hear the crushing sound of bone on rock as You fall to Your knees. I can’t look, Jesus. I can’t bear to see what I know must happen. Your arms are bound to the cross beam and You are unable to catch Yourself as You hurl face first from Your knees into the street. I can’t watch Your precious face, the face of God who has only given me, the smallest and most undeserving sheep, looks of such tender love. Jesus, this beautiful face of Yours, kissed countless times by Your holy and pure Mother Mary, falls with such force that I don’t believe is possible; without causing severe head trauma. You lie there for what seems to be a long time.

The soldiers are afraid You have died already but I see fear, not mercy from them. Fear that they have tortured You to death before their rite of execution can occur and so they frantically look around to find a strong man and violently pull him, jerk him from his place to help You. They force him to help You up and he does so as he has compassion in his heart. Not because he knows who You are but because he is a man of compassion and he seems to revile this treatment, as he must value life. He must respect life; all life for though he is not pleased with the soldiers singling him out of the crowd to get his hands dirty and bloody, he is filled with human compassion for You. Oh, sweet Simon who does come to My Lord’s assistance. One gaze from You, the look of gratitude from his God, unknown to him for it is hidden from him, touches his heart. The small burning ember of compassion becomes a bright flame of love for You, though he does not completely comprehend it yet. You know, Jesus for You see each man’s heart. You know all and see all, Jesus. It was God the Father’s mercy that directed the wicked soldiers to choose Simon the Cyrene and You know this, Jesus for You and the Father are one. Jesus, I see this and I am grateful that someone is helping You and I still say nothing. I am not close enough, Jesus to reach You, yet and still You have not seen me.

Lord, perhaps I can get closer to You if I find Your Mother, my Mother. Oh, where are You Mary, most holy Mary. Perhaps I can find You and comfort Your Son by consoling You. Oh, I know this is not possible; to console You when Your Son, our Lord is journeying to Calvary to die, but still, if I can find You in the crowds I can walk with You and allow You to lean on me. There you are. I see You with Mary Magdalene and St. John. Should I approach You? I don’t know, but I do anyway, for love of Jesus. I aim to be of support and comfort, but just then You see me. Our eyes meet and Yours are filled with sorrow and anguish and yet I see such love. You look at me with tenderness and love and it is as if You are comforting me. How is this so, pure Lady? How is it that You console me while Your beautiful Prince of Peace is in such agony? You are in agony, too beautiful Gospa, but You are serene. You are still the Queen Mother who, in her torturous agony, is still beautiful, dignified but also approachable. You hold out Your hand to me as if to say, ‘Come, let us walk together.’ You accept me, a peasant girl, into Your circle of love. The elegant, beautiful, Queen of Heaven and earth, accepts me. I know instantly that You see my heart, also and though it is tainted and gray, unlike Yours which is crystal clear and shining with the sun, You see that it loves Your Son. For this reason we are sisters in our sadness and sorrow. Thank You Blessed Mother. Jesus, this is all. I can say nothing and I cannot even reach You in Your time of need, Your agony, Your Calvary. I am unable to do anything, Lord. I tried, but to no avail. Forgive me, Jesus. I wanted to do more, and yet I was incapable of even getting close to my beautiful One, my Lord God, my Savior my friend.

“My little one, you were incapable, but your desire carried you forward, propelled you on the way. You were and are too small to overcome the mad mobs, the armed soldiers, the barrier they created and yet you tried. You did not give up. I could not hear your voice anyway through the raucous noise, but I did feel your love. I knew of your love and your presence. It was like a sweet songbird on a spring morning. It broke through the angry, violent taunts and on occasion, sang its low song close to My ear so that I could hear this song of your heart. They were sweet lovely notes saying, ‘Jesus, oh, my Jesus. If only I could help You, Lord. If only I could do something to help You.’ ”

“My daughter, you are praying and saying the same things to (name withheld). You do not know what to do, so you do whatever you can. You do not know if you are reaching him, but you try anyway. You put a cool cloth on his hot forehead. You refresh it when it becomes warm from his feverish skin. You blot his cheeks with another cool cloth and stroke his arms ever so lightly so as not to hurt his fragile skin bruised from anticoagulants and weeping from skin tears. You prop his swollen arms and turn the pillows so the cool side will touch his skin. You sing softly to him and reassure him that you are there and that you love him. You know (names withheld) are doing the same when they are there and you aim to keep the unbroken cycle of love and reassurance going so that he might somehow, through the strength of your love and the love of his family, continue to recover. You would will your strength into his body if it was humanly possible and you know it isn’t, but you long to give him something. You pray. You ask Me to give him graces for healing. You pray for graces of consolation. You ask the saints and when you are not sure that I hear you, though you believe I do, you ask My Mother. You tell her how much you love (name withheld) and ask that She take your prayers to Her Son, your Jesus. You repeat this day after day and finally you receive a smile; a gaze to encourage you and then you repeat this process of loving time and time again; knowing it is not enough but trusting that somehow it will be something.”

“And, I see. Remember, I see all. I know all. I see, My child, My little one, that you are very small and sad, lonely and afraid sitting by (name withheld) side as he lies there sleeping and fighting for his life. I see your devotion, and that of each family member. I see all. I know all. I see your hearts that are breaking and I join Mine to yours. Yes, My children—I join Mine to yours and together we join our love and infuse it into (name withheld). You cannot do this, but I can for I am God. Your devotion, your faithfulness (‘that of our family’) touches the heart of God and I pour graces upon you and (name withheld), My son who has followed Me his entire life. I love him. He is Mine and I am his. My Will, full of great love and mercy is perfect. My Will for (name withheld) is perfect and it is all love. My Will can be trusted and it will be done. Trust, My child. You are trusting and now you have a deep and abiding peace. Walk with (name withheld) on this journey. You must continue to walk with him for the one who makes the journey, it feels very long and very lonely. Only those who walk with him and pray for him serve to provide any consolation at all.”

“My child, you described My torturous journey to Calvary very well. You described (name withheld), also though only in a spiritual sense. You understand what I am teaching you, My little one and though you cannot explain, you understand in your heart. Remember that what you do in love for (name withheld), you are also doing for Me, your Jesus. When you place cool cloths on his forehead, you comfort Me in My agony. My child, this is very real and not just a figure of speech. It is a reality that you will come to understand more fully in Heaven. You felt you could not reach Me, but you do so in other ways. The kindnesses shown in your lifetime, reaches back in time to Me for I am not bound by time as you are, for I am God. I created time for My creatures, but the One who creates is not bound by that which I have created. Do you understand, My daughter?”

Yes, Jesus. I understand what You are saying, but I cannot comprehend it. I believe You and I know what You mean.

“This is very important, My daughter for you will teach this to others now, through the writings, and also later in person as you teach the faith to others. This is My Gospel of life and love and it is very real, ‘What you do to the least of your brothers, that you do unto Me.’ My child, I am with you. I am closer than you realize. I am especially close when you care for one who is ill, injured, dying, frightened or in need in any way, for when you see with your human eyes the person in need, you are also seeing Me. Though you may not see Me physically, it is I. This will carry you through many difficult times of ministering to those I send you.”

“My Children of Light, hold fast to this teaching. Hold it in your heart and reflect on it. Reflect on it often so as to prepare yourselves for the Time of Great Trials that is soon upon you in full force. Know this—I am with you. I am with you in those in need. I am with you in the hearts of the little children who will be lost and afraid and in need of love. I am with you in the stranger who has no food, and no place to sleep for the night. I am with you in the homeless. I am with you in the rich who will lose all of their earthly wealth; I am with you in the mother who cannot find her husband or her children and who is blinded by fear, loss and grief. I am with you in the poor. I am with you in those who are poor in love for they do not know love. I am with you, even in those who persecute you. I tell you that you are to live My Gospel of love regardless of the situation in which you find yourselves, for in the Time of Great Trials, all people on the earth will be affected and impacted.”

“My Children of Light, you must show My light to a world in darkness. You show My light through your love and through actions of care. You must put My love into action or otherwise you will be hiding your light under a basket. Love must bear fruit by being put in the service of your neighbor and all who are created by God—all peoples are your neighbors. Therefore, love one another as I have taught and have shown you. Yes, My children, in some cases you will lay down your lives for others, just as I laid down My life for you. Do not worry, though for I am with you. I will give you graces for love and if you need these graces to give the sacrifice of love, I will give them. You will be taken immediately to Heaven so do not be concerned. Live for Me and all will be well.”

“I love you and I aim to encourage you. Because I love you, and because these times are like no other, I prepare you as in no other time before. I prepared Noah and his family—yes. But never before in the history of the world have I prepared so many and this is why, My Children of Light: I am preparing My Mother’s little army. You are in good company, My children for you are not alone. I am raising an army of souls to follow My Mother into holy battle. This war for souls is not the kind of war fought by evil and powerful men who use weapons of war, artillery and the likes. My Mother’s army fights evil with love. My Mother’s army prepares for battle through prayer and lessons of love. This is your boot camp, My children and it serves to give you the basics. I cannot fully prepare all of you, for many of you have come to the training late and have not taken advantage of the extra time God the Father has given His children. But, you will be prepared adequately enough for My Mother covers you with her holy and powerful mantle of love and with the prayer of the rosary, holy Mass and Scripture, you will walk arm and arm with your brothers and sisters under the protective gaze of My Mother, Queen of Heaven and earth. Do not forget this, My children. My Mother is not just Queen of Heaven where She reigns by My side, but She is also Queen of the earth. My Mother’s heart will triumph for God Wills it. She is of the Blessed Trinity; the Daughter of God the Father, the Mother of God the Son and the Spouse of the Holy Spirit. Her humility causes demons to shriek in fear. They flee from even Her shadow!”

“She is your Mother, also and this is one of My great gifts to humanity, contained in My gift of salvation, for it was during My crucifixion that I gave Her to mankind. Before that and until then She was reserved only for Me, but as I was dying I gave this most precious of all creatures to mankind for I am all love and all mercy. Therefore, you have nothing to fear. Pray, act in love and do not worry but rely on the saints’ prayers and My Mother’s intercession and intervention. She acts in complete union with the Will of God so you may rest assured that to follow Her is to follow God for She is in ‘lockstep’ with the love and Will of the Blessed Trinity. You cannot go wrong following the Mother of God, who knows the shortest and most direct route to the Holy Trinity. Now, be of good cheer for I am with you. My Mother is with you. You have an army of sisters and brothers who are also being prepared. I love you. Follow Me. All will be well. Go in peace, now My little lamb. I make all things new.”

Yes, Jesus. Thank You, My loving Jesus. I love You

“And, I love you. I bless you both in the name of My Father, in My name and in the name of My Holy Spirit. Go in peace. Be love, be mercy, be joy to others. All is well. All will be well.”

Thank you, Lord. Amen!